Mommy Training

Dear Baby I,

What a hot week we have had! The weatherman on TV says it has been over 40 straight days of 100+ degrees! Ugh! It's hot out there! I hate it! YOu hate it! The dogs hate it! It is just miserable! But we are off too see Daddy this week in Colorado so we will have a nice little break from the heat. We also get to see all the new toys Daddy got you at the new house! I can only imagine how "not overboard" he has gone.
   Well Kiddo, it has been an odd kind of week for us. I have been unusually over emotional this past week. I have been doing the whole "what is the meaning of life" thing more than usual... Ugh! Thank goodness you are too young to understand those rants. I just want to make sure when I look back at my life I can say I really accomplished something - and not wasted my life away worrying about what size jeans I wore.  I want to be a good mom, a good daughter, a good sister, a good love, and a good friend. Most importantly I want to be good to myself and I need to figure that out if I am going to accomplish the rest. And I am slowly learning that pleasing everybody is not the answer.
   This week I also thought a lot about what I have learned in my first almost 50 weeks of Mommy Training. Here is my top 10:
1. I was a MUCH better mom before I had you. It's true kiddo. I am not perfect. Sorry Monster, but I am not even close! I may as well just put that out there now before you grow up and waste your money on all those "world's best mom" mugs at Santa's workshop. Motherhood is WAY harder than I anticipated. So brace yourself for A LOT of bumps in the road with me....and trust me YOU owe me BIG TIME when it comes to bumps in the road!
2. The only thing that goes according to plan is "NOTHING goes according to plan!" Breast feeding, SLeeping, Pooping, Eating, Crying, dinner, dieting, Drs Appointments, Napping, Heat, Moving, traveling, holidays...NOTHING! Everything in its own way will at some point turn into a production. You can count on that!
3. I will never sleep more than 3 hours again. Ever. :(
4. If you have ANY value in your feet DO NOT BUY A WALKER! I swear they line the edges of those things with razor blades purposely to drive parents insane!
5. DO not ever buy anything that fits - no matter how cute it is and regardless if it is the only size available and it is on sale. You babies are like weeds and you will have grown out of it BEFORE we have finished checking out!
6. TV is not the enemy.  Dead Batteries in the remote are the Enemy!
7. EVERYONE else's kid is more advanced than yours. Johnny walked at 6 months, Katie talked at 7 months, Jimmy slept thru the nite from day 1, Lucy did long division by 9 months. This ranks right up there with the unsolicited Breast feeding Militia in my book. Isaac you can walk, talk, sleep, divide, whenever the heck your little heart desires. I will be right here waiting and watching.
8. Babies are hard-wired to love the taste of Dog food. I have no other explanation for why I seem to find it jam packed in your mouth every day.
9. Babies  know they are cute. Otherwise you would stop doing whatever it is you were doing when I yell "no!" rather than giving me a devilish grin and laughing in my face.
and Finally....
10. I would not change a thing...ok, other than the lack of sleeping! I may cry like a baby regularly now, pull my hair out, curse your daddy up and down, and swear on stacks of Bibles I am "one and done!" but no matter what tantrums I may throw, I wouldn't trade you in for anything! You are my little monster - and I cant imagine you any other way!
   We have a big week ahead of this week! Thursday we are off to see Daddy in Denver and check out the new house and neighborhood! Another chance for you to add some more frequent flier miles to your impressive fly time! I am sure we will have a great time there and I am also pretty sure I am ready to hand you over to Daddy for a little bit!
   Well Baby monster, as we get closer to closing out our first year together, all I can tell you for sure is that I never thought I could love anything as much as I love you. I can not even remember me before there was a you! You are my little monster monkey - my devilish baby-dare-devil-wonder!
I love you Monster I!!
Love, Mommy

Hazing Week

Dear Baby I,

Happy Happy 11 months to you! Happy 11 months to ME! I cannot believe we are 1 month shy of a year already! Where did the time go?? Where did my hair go??? I cannot believe we are both still standing!
Well, whatta week we had. The first week back from a long week away - we knew it was going to be rough, but not even I could have predicted how hard it turned out to be. We Got back from NEPA late Saturday night and by mid Sunday afternoon I knew I was in over my head! WHere were all my helpers!!? Where were all my break times!??
 Hoy Vey! You ran me ragged. I am sure Noni and Nono put you up to this! First you were stuck on East Coast time  - that was fun! 5 straight days up at 2AM! I thought I was never going to sleep again! Next our plane landed right in "another" one of Vegas' famous "excessive heat waves". Touching down at the airport : "Welcome to Las Vegas, local time is 11 pm and it is a balmy 109 degrees". Fan-freakin-tastic.

By Monday Mommy had returned to her state of habitual crying. You were like fuel to a fire. You cried over everything, hated everything - especially the car, and refused to sleep like a normal human being. Losing my cell phone by Monday morning was just the icing on the cake! NOw I have a baby  driving me bonkers and no one to vent to! Hoy Vey Indeed!!
Tuesday thru Thursday were no better either. Lots of hot, humid, poopy, cranky, sticky, bitchy fun. I do not know why but you wanted to be held ALL DAY - Everyday! I could not get you to play with your toys, you kept feeding all your food to the dogs, and you just WOULD NOT SLEEP!! All Week long it seemed like another day was added to the mix and Friday would never get here! We also learned this week that NO CABINET IS SAFE from your grubby little paws...and you like dirt -  lots of dirt - wherever you can get. It must be the yummiest thing in the world, because you always manage to have a fist full of it in your mouth!
I Won't lie kiddo - It was not my best week to shine as a mom. Like you, I did not exactly earn any gold stars for the refrigerator this week either. Mommy yelled  and screamed just as much as you did only you thought it was way funnier when I did it than when I think it is when you do it! It makes me wonder when you will learn NO is NO and not the funniest thing I can ever say?! What a week! We were both a little bitchy, a little jet lagged, and a lot of over tired and HOT! Knowing we had Daddy come in to cap off the week only made Friday so much further away! It was simply "one of those weeks". I am sure we have many more of those weeks to come....maybe we should plan ahead??

Daddy's first trip back to Las Vegas in 3 weeks was a HUGE success! I will admit I was a little worried for him that you may not give him the reception we were hoping for. But there is NO DOUBT you knew exactly who your daddy was!! It was so Special to see! You were so happy to see him and he ate up every second! I know it is very hard for Daddy to be away so much, but in due time we will all be back under one roof and then who cares if I have a phone or not - I can hand you off to him!!
Daddy Weekend was filled with lots of "family time". Daddy Weekend was also filled with lots of "excessive heat" warnings - which means lots of pool time! We had a lot of fun, made lots of messes, and even fit in a few full 30 minute naps! A successful weekend indeed!
We are now in the final four week countdown to your Big Numero Uno Birthday! What are we going to do? Hmm...the party planners will be hard at work - I have a feeling lots of watermelon and ice cream are on the menu - and maybe a few Super Why and Barney Surprises too!!
Well 11 months in and we still have A LOT to learn kiddo! One thing we learned in a hurry is that no matter what the day brings, at the end of the day you are still my little Monster Angel who can snuggle up to me anytime you want and bring a smile to my face! All those hard days and sleepless nights do not even come close to your smiling face each morning when you whack me with your empty bottle and give me a big  toofy smily and yell "gua"...it is like the perfect bad memory eraser! Now if we can just work on a perfect bad headache eraser!
I love you Little MOnster and I know you cannot wait to see Daddy again as much as I do! We love you Daddy and will see you in 2 weeks!
I love you my Baby Gremlin!
LOve, mommy

Let me Upgrade ya...

Dear Baby Monster I,

Seems like forever since I sat down to write to you. What a week we had! Our trip to NEPA was a grand success! We had so much fun and got to see lots of friendly faces. Your visit to Noni and Nono's house could not have been better - although the weather could have been MUCH cooler! A full week of hot humid was tough! So much for leaving the desert - we went right into the sauna!
The trip started last Saturday. First we got our Official First Class upgrade. OK, so that turned out to be a huge bust since there was a 12 arm rest dividing the seat - no such luck for you sitting by yourself for anything longer than a 20 minute nap. So you and I shared my seat  - But at least Scout the Magic Green Dog got a full first class seat all to himself. :) And if Scout is happy then we are all happy!

The Fourth of July was a mixed bag. To start the day there was one of those rare All-5-Nardells-in-the-same-place sightings. But unlike other holiday gatherings, this one had a (quite possibly) never-been-seen-before twist: All 5 Nardells -Plus Mama Bear - were in bathing suits in a SWIMMING POOL!!! Ok, Mama Bear (aka your NOni) was not in a bathing suit, nor would she be happy with me even implying she owns a swim suit, nonetheless - she was in the pool too! Even Zizi was there! All of this for you little man - a rare event that will probably never be duplicated in honor of your first 4th of July!
The rest of the day was pretty down hill from there. Your Silly Mommy and Noni (and Daddy via phone!) thought it would be a good idea to show you the fireworks - a GARGANTUAN mistake on all accounts! You were beyond terrified! I will never forget the look on your face when the first firework went off overhead. You were like trying to hold a sharp clawed kitten that scrambled to crawl up my shoulder and down my back for fear of the rain of fire your stupid mother thought you might like to see. Note to self: Live Fireworks and Babies = BAD. Live Broadcast Specials of Washington DC's Fireworks on TV= Good!
The rest of the week was filled with lots of visits! You saw your old flame Sofia and Sonny, Rich's little angels Kennady and Addison, Chloe, and Joyce - geez Bud...You saw a lot of cute girls this week! You better pace yourself!

Suddenly last week, eating became a nitemare with you. Nothing on a spoon would do. And EVERYTHING got thrown on the floor or thrown at Emily!!(I bet that was Nono's favorite part!) Although you were all smiles for each of the 4 Watermelons we went through in 6 days! You even made Jumper a fan of watermelon! We also realized that you can make the distinction between Gerber Cereal Puffs (good) and Cheerios (bad). Who knew  you would be so fickle already....HA!
If ever there was any doubt that you do not understand when an adult is talking - you and Nona put that theory to shame! No matter what Nona said to you, you would babble something back as if you understood every word! She loved it! And you loved her room full of trinkets and treasures! So many little statues to put in your mouth so little time!
You even gave Aunts Krissy and GIna a run for the money. Aunt Krissy was getting to be a pro at the naptime rocks on the front porch and Aunt Gina was getting that Faux hawk just right after your tubby! Somehow Noni put you to bed, although I have no idea how she pulled that one off and Nono was being slightly less anal about sweeping the floor as you threw everything fed to you over your chair and on to it!!
Maybe you are a little good luck charm too - Even Max had a big night in his All Star Baseball game with a big hit! Although we will be pretty careful with that Title, No doubt Uncle ROnnie and Uncle Ralphie will try pimpin you out to get some of that good luck with all the single ladies!
All in all it was a great week, capped off by an easy flight back to Las Vegas. Mommy even got some self-awarded Mommy-all-Star points by single handedly lugging 4 carry-ons and a baby through O'Hare! I do not know what I was thinking, but it really wasnt as bad as expected.
Now the hard part - getting you re-adjusted to West COast time. Today you were nothing short of a nitemare!  As I write this at 8:30 PM you are still asleep from your 5PM nap! Either this is your Best Nap Ever at the wrong time, or I am getting up (AGAIN) at 3 AM!! Somehow I have a feeling I should be sleeping instead of typing right now!
On that note, many thanks and many kisses out to NEPA! We miss you guys already and look forward to seeing you all again real soon! SPeaking of which...Hip hip Hoorah!! Daddy comes to Vegas this Friday! 3 Weeks have gone by and I bet he just cannot wait to get his hands on you! And trust me kiddo, after today I cannot wait to hand you over!!
Good Night Baby Monster Mash!
I love you.
Love, Mommy

East Bound and Down...

Dear I

Week 1 away from Daddy.... :(
Honestly kiddo, I do not know HOW single Moms/dads pull this off! Kudos to all of you who do this day in and day out! You get my utmost respect! All I can say is Thank goodness for Uncle Ronnie! By the end of the day you have me so worn out I am ready to hand you over! For some reason that big closet of his can amuse you for quite some time - it must be all the sparkles and shimmery clothes and shoes in there Uncle Ronnie does love to Smile Sparkle and Shine!
From the sounds of it Daddy is liking his new job. But I can tell you he misses you something awful! He misses being around his little boy - But you can tell him, fear not Daddy! You are not missing too much, and Mommy takes plenty of pictures and videos so you wont miss a beat! Doc on the other hand isnt so convinced...he is AWFULLY mopey without you here! Maybe we should let him run out the front door and see if he makes it to Colorado on his own! ... just kidding..partially...
What's been going on....

The Toilet. Its is the latest craze with you! Everything and anything you can get your hands on gets thrown in there! Toothbrushes, Socks, magazines, towels! Mommy really needs to remember to close the bathroom door - or at least put the lid down!
On the toofers front, there is no lack of sharpness on your pearly whites! Your Monster teeth may be quite possibly the sharpest blades in the house! Ouch!! They hurt! YOu even struck blood when you bit my finger yesterday! My silly little monster....
You have a new fascination with the steps. I hate it. Every time I turn around you are trying to get up those steps - even if you have to leap over Prada to get to them!

I fear I have created a monster with you and your eating habits. First you won't eat anything from a jar - which makes traveling fun. Second, I thought it was so cute when you tried to feed yourself, now it is a messy nitemare! A spoon (held by me) shall not touch your lips!! You will only eat what you can pick up - or if you use the spoon by yourself. Unfortunately by the time you get the spoon to your face the food is shot around the kitchen! And then there is your food time audience! You guys are like a pack! All of your food goes straight to the dogs! You now even feed them out of your hands - and you giggle when they lick your tray! Hoy Vey kiddo, thank goodness you have gotten rid of my fear of germs for you!
DIRT. Need I say more? You LOVE it! Any open patch of grass, the potted plants, no dirt is safe from your digging - and once you start Doc jumps right into help! I cant win! Hopefully NOni has a shovel and bucket waiting for you!

Off to NEPA in the morning! YEAH! Double Yeahs for the First Class Upgrade we BOTH got! Had I known that was coming I would not have bought you a seat! Now you'll be the big boy in first class with your very own seat! Don't get too used to that kiddo! I am sure the other passengers are going to LOVE that! I cannot wait to see if you like your first year of fireworks! I hope they do not scare you! I know you are going to have a good time at Noni's, there is already a sign up sheet to get their grubby little hands on you! Shh, Mommy didn't sign up for any of the open slots! here we come NEPA!
Hugs and kisses to Daddy. We will talk to you on the phone and we hope you have a blast on the 4th in Boulder with Aunt Sue! We will miss you for sure, we will have an extra veggie burger for you! Remember NO HOT DOGS! ICK!!!
I love baby Monster!
love, Mommy